The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Ep. #11

I Blew It

 I blew it today.  Big time. 

 

I had a deadline to meet, and I missed it by a mile.  Like, "I need another week," blew it.  It happens from time to time.  I work in a high stress field that requires a lot from me.  I have a leadership position that puts me up against the wall sometimes.  Here's the thing:  Whether you have just some menial job or you have a full-blown career, pressure and deadlines happen.  I've never worked in the fast food industry, but I have the utmost respect for those that do, and I mean that honestly.  They're overworked, underpaid and most definitely underappreciated.  Talk about a high-pressure position!  I've had a lot of jobs along the way to getting where I am.  I've done things I never wanted to do or thought I would do.  But I'm realizing it's the same at every level, every job.  Things must be done and certain things I'm very responsible for getting done myself. 

 A few years ago, missing a deadline would have meant absolutely nothing to me.  I couldn't have cared less.  I would have continued on in whatever role I had and not thought another thing about it.  Somehow over the years, I started to care.  Call it maturation, responsibility, whatever.  These days, I can't stand the thought of poor performance on my job.  It's not about people-pleasing.  I'm the last person to care what anyone thinks about me.  But it's about "me-pleasing."  I want to make myself feel happy, accomplished and fulfilled.  I realized a long time ago that no one can make me feel that way but me. 

 Here's what I'm saying:  Nobody, and I mean nobody, can make you feel satisfied in any job whatsoever except for you.  It's important to get a grip on internal happiness and satisfaction.  The external variety feels pretty good, admittedly, but it only lasts so long.  The type of satisfaction we as humans crave is only going to come from that place deep inside each of us.  I'm saying we need to stop seeking the constant approval of others and reach a new level within ourselves.  That will lead us to satisfaction, success, and ultimately happiness.  For me, that means a lot more than money, position or anything else I can achieve in the working world. 

I sleep wonderfully at night.  How about you?

 

Silas McBane

 

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To read more of Silas McBane's work, head over to DarkestGoth Magazine.