The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #12

A Blank Page

Why, you ask, is the normally loquacious Silas a blank page?  Well, I suppose I just am.  Either I’m fresh out of ideas for today or there are far too many random, inane thoughts scrambling about my head to wrangle one and wrestle it into literary submission.  Perhaps I lack the focus or energy to be creative today.  I think I just plain old don’t feel like writing this thing at this particular moment.  But…I gave my word.  Not only that, I signed a contract.  My dad told me once, “If you don’t have your word, you don’t have anything.”  So, I’m keeping my word.  True, I’m not giving 100% here, which is something my dad would be less than impressed with. 

I remember when my dad taught me how to throw a baseball.  That was fantastic.  I’ve been a huge baseball fan my whole life.  Most sports, in fact, I’m very fond of.  Weird stuff for a goth, I know.  Don’t get worked up.  I still wear black.

I bought three plain black t-shirts for $3 each a couple days ago.  I was astounded by the deal I got on those, especially considering they fit so very well.  I would have given $4 for them!  That’s how much I like them.  They go well with my shoes.

You know, a comfortable pair of shoes is one of life’s simple pleasures, don’t you think?  A really cool-looking AND comfortable pair of shoes is the Holy Grail of footwear, in my opinion.

I watched Indiana Jones the other day.  You know, the one where he’s with his dad and he’s searching for the Holy Grail?  That was a great movie.  I can’t help but watch the Indiana Jones movies every time they’re on T.V.

On T.V. tonight is the MLB All-Star Game, which I’m extremely excited about.  I’ve been a huge baseball fan my whole life.  Did I ever tell you about the time my dad taught me to throw a baseball…?


-Silas McBane

Check out more Gothic thoughts at DarkestGoth Magazine!

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #13

Elemental

There's a feeling in the air
So uneasy, this time
This time I won't fail and miss the chance to see my life
Alive
And I…I'm alive

 

Elemental caution stirs
Breaking will so strong, too strong
So open up my eyes and wash away the years of fear
And pain
And I…I'm alive

 

Just so you know
I will not be denied
And everything that lives in me
It's undenied

 

I'm the fool who gave up everything
Only for the chance to see
Only fools would give up anything
That foolish man is me

 

Just so you know
I will not be denied

 

-Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #12

Get a Job

Why don't more Goths have good great careers?  Heck, why don't more goths have jobs?  Do you ever think about that?  I do.  I have a job.  A career, in fact.  I work for a government agency, for crying out loud!  How anti-goth is that?!  However, I've worked and trained and schooled long and hard to get where I am and I'm very proud of myself.  It's a great feeling, getting up every day and going to work and doing something I enjoy which, in turn, makes other people happy.  The paycheck is nice, too.  Did anyone hand this to me?  Hell, no.  I worked my tail off for it.  THAT is why I can be proud of where I am.  Because I have this career, I have a home, a car, and I can care for my children and do the things I want to do.

 Okay, I realize it sounds like I'm bragging.  Point taken.  But I'm really not.  I'm merely trying to make a point.  Far too many Goths are jobless because they're so consumed with "sticking it to the man" that they fail to do what's best for themselves.  Sounds kind of counter-productive, don't you think?  To me, I can be successful, and that can be my way of sticking it to the man, because the world doesn't see us as a successful culture/sub-culture of people!  No, no matter what you want to do with your life, you're not going to start at the top.  I sure didn't.  I spent a lot of years as a helper.  Valuable, painstaking, pride-swallowing, wonderful years.  Catch my drift?  Get up.  Go get what you want. 

 

This world doesn't hand out anything to anybody.  Anything worth having is worth fighting for and working for.  I remember when I embarked on this career path back in 1999.  I wondered if it would ever amount to anything.  I think I was supporting a family off of around $11 an hour at the time.  But I stuck with it.  I persevered.  I stayed focused.

 It's not un-goth to be successful, dummy.  Go do it.  And quit making excuses for why you can't.  You're embarrassing the rest of us who did it while you were whining about why you can't.

 -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #11

Making Sense of it All

 

 If this particular article came with a disclaimer, it would read:  Warning—the following article contains varying degrees of random thoughts, incoherent rants and bizarre musings.  I guess I have a lot of weird stuff that goes through my mind.  This is my space.  I can write whatever I like.  Here I go…

 How does erasable ink work?  Isn't it weird?  I mean, it's ink, but a pencil eraser removes it from paper.  But it isn't a pencil! 

 Magnets.  They are the strangest things I've ever seen and I could play with them for hours.  Facing each other in one direction, they shoot towards each other like rockets.  Turn one over, and they repel each other!  It's like they have split personalities!

 There are so many varieties of cheese out there that I fear I will live my entire life without getting to sample most of them.  This makes Silas very, very sad.  Please send me strange, interesting, delicious cheeses.

 I love my cat.  She is everything a cat should be.  She never listens to me, she doesn't approach when called, she scratches up my stuff and she irritates my friends.  She's the perfect pet.

 I don't understand how mean people function.

 I need many, many more guitars.

 The weather where I live is so strange.  It has a mind.  It thinks.  It plans…for my barbecues.

 I miss the days where there was no internet, no cell phones, no 5,000,000 channels on television, school books with questionable material, friendly neighbors, cheap fuel and healthy churches.

 For every single piece of meat on a crappy (non-Philadelphia) Philly cheesesteak sandwich, it seems there are three times as many onions or peppers.  Don't get me wrong, I love the onions and peppers.  But my soul craves the cheesesteak.

 Finally, it occurs to me what an honor it is that you read my silly little articles.  I think you are brilliant, beautiful, strong, special and amazing.  Every human I see, I don't see just what I'm looking at.  I see a shooting star ready to launch.

 -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #10

Masks

 

 I was thinking today about the masks I wear.  I wear a lot of them and it depends on who I'm with and the situation in which I find myself as to which mask I wear.  For example, when I'm at work, I wear my "work" mask.  I'm a certain way on the clock and it's all about efficiency, deadlines and business.  I don't wear that mask when I'm playing music, hanging out with my friends, or just relaxing at home.  Catch my drift?

 I have a very good friend whom I've known for several years now.  I'm very fortunate to have worked with him for two different companies now.  He has been a great advantage to me in many ways.  He's just one of those guys who doesn't seem to panic over anything.  Here's what I mean:  He and his wife have been trying very hard to have a second child.  About a month ago, we were all very excited to learn that they had been successful in their efforts.  Then, as a result of the pregnancy and growing family, they knew it was time to upgrade to a larger home.  They found a home, sold their old one, miscarried the baby, and found out he was losing his job all within about a week.  Many of us would have been crippled by all of these things.  How could any of us manage such hardship?

 He still comes to work every single day, even knowing his job is ending soon.  His attitude and demeanor haven't changed a bit.  He's still kind, gentle, and caring.  I came to realize that that is his mask.  That's who he wants people to see.  But who is he when he's afforded the opportunity to be vulnerable and remove his mask?  Is he still strong?  Is he hurt?  Afraid?  Is he a child?  I know who I am when my masks are all taken off.  And I also know that that's who I really am.  But few ever see it.  Some do, mind you, but very few.  See, we have to take off all the masks sometimes.  Otherwise, we start to forget who we really, really are.  It's like telling the same lie so many times you begin to believe it yourself.  Who are you when your masks have all been removed?  Does anyone ever get to see that version of you?  I hope so.  Otherwise, I think your life is being half-lived.

-Silas McBane

 

 

For more on the thoughts of Silas McBane and other Gothic writers, be sure to check out: DarkestGoth Magazine!

DGM News from the Editor: Festival and Site…

Dear DGM readers,

 

As you know, we had some issues shortly after launch with our hosting provider and have since taken the needed precautions to correct that.  As of today, the site is fully transferred and a number of the beta bugs from the soft launch have been fixed. 

 

You can now check out a new photo gallery that went live today of DGM Model Fenix Jenkins and you can also now officially sign up to be a part of the community.  You'll be able to post your ideas, thoughts, and concepts, and you can now submit new articles on the site.  While there are still a few cosmetic things that we're improving upon, you will find full functionality of the different elements we have live.  (While the Achievements programming is not yet live, you will receive DOUBLE experience towards leveling up if you choose to submit articles, artwork, videos, and the like on our submission page before the program officially goes live!)

 

Check it out at: http://www.darkestgoth.com

 

Additionally, you can now buy your tickets for the Mira Nocta BlueGrass Goth Fest event (August 24-26 in Lexington, KY) on Kickstarter! Listed on Kickstarter as the Bluegrass Goth Fest, this makes it easy for folks to understand that it's an event for Goths and not a movie! (Plus, the use of "Bluegrass"—which is the part of the midwest it's hosted in—next to "Goth" is guaranteed to make a lot of folks curious about this incredible event!)

 

This is a limited seating event capped at just 150 seats and, during the Kickstarter campaign, a gift of only $25 will get you one of these rare tickets.  If you want to further help support this great event, you'll unlock extremely rare collectibles and experiences.  The campaign lasts only 18 days and will conclude on July 15th.  If all tickets are gone by the conclusion of this campaign, no more will be sold.  (And, for those of you who may have been burned in the past, the event will definitely take place if only 44 are sold, with a full refund given by Kickstarter if, for some reason, that goal isn't met.) With the successful completion of this campaign, Goths around the country and the world will have a fully scalable way to bring Gothic festivals to their area! Be a part of the beginning of our united future!

 

Check out our video and find out what you can be looking forward to:

 

Click Here to go to the BlueGrass Goth Fest.

 

 

Special thanks goes to Sophia Nightwarden for some 11th hour help coming up with a much clearer overview of the festival for Kickstarter, which made it easy for them to say "yes" to this momentous event.  Additional thanks go to DarkestButterfly who came up with some great research on this and other funding choices, and Mike Flanagan, whose great advice from MicroFilmmaker Magazine was a huge help!

 

GV Pasclato

Note from DGM editor: Update on June 22nd...

Hey guys,

This week has been a long one. As you can see, we are still  transitioning our site over to new hosting, which always is a bit unpredictable in timing. We anticipate being up and running next week, however.  

We also are looking forward to getting more information about the festival campaign next week--as there were some crossed-signals on some things there. Fortunately, we had some amazing help from Sophia Nightwarden (DM) and some great research from DarkestButterfly (DM)! Community is not defined by its ease, but how it functions under adversity!

We do have some exciting news.  The folks over at the Gothic-inspired World of Depleted (http://www.worldofdepleted.com ) post-apocalyptic  community will be officially collaborating with DarkestGoth to provide creative writing, artistic, and filmmaking opportunities for our readers.  The things we have talked about could be as simple as recording a video message after the Fall to writing more in-depth stories to even directing a film in this world. Unlike a lot of creative communities, contributors in World of Depleted get a chance to help impact the core storylines by their creations and even share in profits!

More as we have it!

Editor GV Pasclato