The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode 20

You Can Go Home

                Greetings, friends.  Yes, it’s been a couple of weeks since you’ve heard from me.  Life has been adventurous as of late and thus I feel inclined to share a bit of it with you.  It’s good to be back.

                I went on vacation.  I went home, in fact.  Home is a place far away from where I currently live.  Something in the neighborhood of 1300 miles or so, give or take.  Suffice to say, I don’t get home often.  I have a career, obligations and a life that keep me from such quests, unfortunately.  Why is home home?  First of all, it’s where I grew up.  So many of my fondest memories reside there.  I spent somewhere around 20 years of my life there.  It’s familiar and easy.  I still know a thousand people there, so coming home really is a homecoming.  It’s wonderful!  I see family, friends, people I haven’t even thought of in a dozen years.  You know what I like best about home?  I fit there.  See, where I live now, I don’t understand the rules.  I didn’t grow up here.  It’s not my territory.  I don’t really even like it here, although I love my local friends and I love where I live.  But, by and large, I don’t understand the rules here, thus I am a misfit.  True, I am a misfit back home as well, but I’m an accepted misfit.  BIG difference. 

                I like going home because everything I always loved about home is always there waiting for me whenever I return.  It’s beautiful.  Inanimate objects such as secret favorite places, mountains, restaurants, etc., are waiting there for me always, greeting me like an old friend.  I’m never forgotten there.  I so love feeling like I still matter and I haven’t been forgotten.  That may be the best feeling I’ve ever encountered, and I can’t quite put into words how wonderful it feels.

                Isn’t that what we all want?  Home!  A place we fit, belong, thrive and feel ultimately at peace.  I’ve heard it said that you can’t go home.  Your old friend Silas is here to tell you that that’s rubbish.  You can.  You should.  We must.

-Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode 19

The State of the Union

                Utter chaos.  Absolute insanity.  Total foolishness and a complete lack of regard.  This is how I would describe the state of our country at this moment.  If it were many years ago and I was a child and you would have told me that this is the way our country would look when I was this age, I would have made a strong case for your need for therapy.  There’s no way I could have ever seen this coming.  The division, the strife, the apathy, the petty division; it all seems a means to a very, very ugly end.  Personally, I can’t stand it.  It’s driving me crazy.

                Here’s the important question, as we narrow the scope of this problem:  What is the goth community doing to improve the situation?  If you read my last blog, you’d know that I don’t think we’re doing a damned thing to improve the situation.  Here’s where I wax all dreamy and (most likely) non-sensical.  What if we lit the way to change?  What if we were the ones to set the example?  How about we set aside all the nonsense and rise above the bullshit (please pardon the crudeness) to actually be the example?  That would be amazing and inspiring!  But, sadly, we probably won’t.  We’ll just keep wearing weird clothes and pretending we live somewhere else. 

                The crux of the situation is this:  Somebody has to do something.  Wouldn’t it be cool if it were us?  I don’t know about you, but I do consider myself a bit of a patriot.  I love this country, even if we are a complete mess.  And I’m not pointing fingers.  The mess of this country goes back a very long time.  We just never fixed it along the way.  Oddly enough, we’ve all been searching for validity.  Well, here’s our chance.  If you can’t be part of the solution, please wear your weird clothes in another country.  There are far too many benchwarmers here already.  I’m headed to the frontlines.  Hope to see you there.

-Silas

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode #18

Disarray and General Stupidity

It has come to my attention as of late that the gothic community is in a bit of a state of disarray.  I see people who claim to be “accepting” and “open-hearted” waging little ridiculous battles against others of the very same kind.  Well, to that I say a hearty and sarcastic congratulations.  By virtue of your pettiness and nonsense, you’ve managed to become just like everyone else in the world.  Nice job on being “different.”  You sure claim to be different, don’t you?  Of course you do.  All goths do.  But I’m the type of person that examines behavior and actions far more than appearance.  Shame on you if you’re involved in any kind of drama and otherwise divisive behavior.  What on Earth are you thinking?  If I sound angry, it’s because I am.  This is exactly the type of behavior that gives everyone the right to not take you seriously. 

                I believe in the goth community, culture and movement.  That’s why I’m mad.  It’s personally embarrassing to me to see what’s going on right now.  There are goth conventions, set up with the very best of intentions, that some of you won’t attend just because of some petty, childish grudges.  Again, shame on you.  This is a recipe for failure amongst the goth culture.  Division is never the way to go in such instances. 

                If we continue to behave like silly little children, then we deserve the reputation we have amongst the mainstream culture.  Many of you claim to be fighting stereotypes.  If you’re serious about that, stop creating them, dummy.  Unite.  Stop fighting and backbiting.  Stop gossiping.  Can’t you realize that we’re all united under the same banner?  No, you can’t.  You’re too focused on being heard, whatever that means.  Put down your swords and shields, grow up, embrace your brothers and sisters and move forward in unity.  To summarize (in case you haven’t received my point yet), many of you are behaving like asses.  Stop giving good goths a bad name.  If you don’t like honesty, stop reading my stuff.  There’s lots of tabloids out there that would suit you just fine.

-Silas 

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode #17

Don’t Call it a Comeback

                I’m turning the corner on what is, in my opinion, a very important birthday.  Not necessarily one of those birthdays that one typically considers a “landmark” birthday, but it’s a big one to me, nonetheless.  I intend to celebrate accordingly, of course, as I never do anything halfway.  I specifically remember having a conversation with myself several years ago.  I remember exactly where I wanted to be and what I had decided I wanted to have accomplished by this particular birthday (and you can stop wondering, I’m not going to tell you how old I am).  Some of those expectations I’d set for myself back then I’m quite proud to say I’ve far exceeded.  To some, to my disappointment, I’ve fallen dramatically short. 

                So, as I rapidly approach this landmark age increase I find myself more and more mindful of the things I didn’t quite get accomplished…yet.  That, my friends, is the key.  A deadline missed is not a goal defeated.  I like the sound of that.  Wherever you are, just hear yourself say it out loud.  A deadline missed is not a goal defeated.  It’s just a bit delayed.  Maybe those things are still another “X” amount of years away from being conquered.  But I don’t have to quit.  Yeah, the landscape has changed over the years as my life has changed in some big ways.  All that means is that I have to modify my approach to get those things done.

                I like making you think, and I hope I’m doing so right this very minute.  If not now, perhaps when you lay your head down to slumber.  Maybe then, as you rest quietly in your resting place, these words will register again in your consciousness.  Because there’s a lot of stuff you haven’t done or accomplished yet.  You know it, I know it.  I’m putting those “undones” on the short list of “get it dones.”  After all, I’m not gonna be here forever.

-Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode #16

The Human Condition

Is it me, or does it seem like the vast majority of the populace is having the worst year ever?  Really, I’ve been thinking on this for quite some time now and I’ve spoken with a great number of people regarding this very subject and it seems I’m far from alone in feeling the way I do.  So, what’s going on in the goth community in regards to the rest of the world?  Comparably speaking, is it good?  Is it bad?  Is the community, as a whole, thriving, or is it floundering?  I don’t really know how to answer these questions, as my experiences are extremely varied.

                This is the point I’m trying to make:  We (you) in the goth community try so very hard to be apart from the status quo.  We like to see ourselves as outside and above the culture around us, but at the same time, we’re all going through the exact same stuff!  So, in all of our efforts to be so far outside the mainstream, it’s interesting that we find ourselves in the exact same place in which everyone else is.  And I can tell you exactly why that is so.  You see, humans are humans.  Some are white.  Some are black.  Some are rich, poor, tall, short, fat, skinny, gay, hetero, etc.  None of that matters because none of us can escape the hardships of the real world.  One thing I cannot tolerate is to see people of the gothic community behave as if they are better, or even different, than anyone else.  Behavior that comes from a false sense of enlightenment and entitlement is certainly what keeps all of us lumped into the same category:  Freaks and losers.  I can’t disagree.  If that’s how we largely behave, then that’s largely what we are. 

                I couldn’t care less if you think that’s true or not.  I don’t write this blog to be popular.  I like to think I write to inform and entertain.  I try to do both as best I can.  But when we (goths) spend all our energy and effort to live outside the lines, we’d also better be prepared for the consequences. 

                We’re all victims of the human condition.  All susceptible to torment and strife.  The further we alienate ourselves from everyone around us, the further we get from our source of help and hope.  What is our source of help and hope?  The countless people all around us that are all struggling through the same things we are. 

                We’re not elite because we look different.  We’re the same as everybody else. 

-Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode #15

Bringing It All Together

There’s been an awful lot to think about this week.  And by awful, I truly mean awful.  I have strong roots in the Denver, Colorado area.  I have tons of friends and some family out there.  The movie theatre shooting really impacted me personally.  Then, a day later, I got word from a close friend out on the west coast.  She told me how her father was brutally murdered by his girlfriend of eight years.  Then, a day later, I got word that a local buddy of mine passed away at a relatively young age from a heart attack and subsequent stroke.  Yep, there’s been an awful lot to think about this week. 

                Where do we go with things like this?  How do we effectively grasp the gravity of these events while still maintaining forward momentum in our daily lives?  I’m wrestling with that a little bit.  Normally, I like to think of myself as a well-balanced guy.  I typically take life’s blows and deal with them in stride.  Suffice to say, sometimes life hits a little hard and there’s just too damned much to think about.  That’s been this week for me. 

                Hey, don’t pity your old buddy Silas.  I don’t appreciate or covet sympathy.  I’ll figure all of this stuff out just like I do everything else that comes my way.  I’m a survivor.  Just like you.  And if you don’t believe you’re a survivor, please consider the fact that your lungs are drawing breath even as you read this and you still sleep on this side of the sod.  We’re survivors, you and me.  I’m proud of that.  I’m proud of you.  Hell, I probably don’t even know you and yet I’m compelled to hear your story. 

                So, let’s make a deal (in my mind I said that just like Monty Hall).  You be there for me, and I’ll be there for you.  True, we probably don’t know each other.  But send me some good vibes.  I give you my word, I’ll send them right back.  Let’s infuse our culture with love and strength and positive energy.  We can be not only different, but a difference.  I’m fortunate that I’ve had a couple kind souls be the difference for me this week.  Very fortunate.

                If you ever need, I’ll be a difference for you as well.  You can always find your old buddy Silas at silasmcbane@gmail.com.  Peace and love to the beautifully dark community.  God knows there’s been enough bad lately.  Love you all.

-Silas McBane 

Changes

Dear DGM readers,

Change is hard. It can be unnerving and scary. It can also be exhilarating and empowering! With that said, there are some changes taking place here at DGM. We're confident these changes will help make DGM an easier, more enjoyable, and truly interactive experience.

First of all, a change of format for the magazine site itself. We will continue to provide exclusive content written by the staff here at DGM, but we are preparing to fully activate the new "User Content" section of the magazine. This means that there will now be forums for articles, reviews, tutorials, art, and more all done exclusively by you! You'll be able to create your content and upload it directly to the website for the world to see. Once fully implemented, uploading your own content will be a fast, seamless, and simple procedure.

We also have a new Editor-in-Chief. Editor Gothviking Pasclato has stepped down and the position has been accepted by Sophia Nightwarden. We wish Pasclato all the best, and we're looking forward to seeing what Sophia brings to the table as the website progresses.

Overall, we here at DGM are constantly working to expand and improve the magazine and are committed to providing the best experience for everyone. Our goal is to create an open-ended user experience that is entertaining, informative, and interactive. So be sure to keep watching as we take our magazine in new and exciting directions! We will also be adding new information and tutorials to explain the new features of the site and to keep you updated as we continue to grow.