The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode 20

You Can Go Home

                Greetings, friends.  Yes, it’s been a couple of weeks since you’ve heard from me.  Life has been adventurous as of late and thus I feel inclined to share a bit of it with you.  It’s good to be back.

                I went on vacation.  I went home, in fact.  Home is a place far away from where I currently live.  Something in the neighborhood of 1300 miles or so, give or take.  Suffice to say, I don’t get home often.  I have a career, obligations and a life that keep me from such quests, unfortunately.  Why is home home?  First of all, it’s where I grew up.  So many of my fondest memories reside there.  I spent somewhere around 20 years of my life there.  It’s familiar and easy.  I still know a thousand people there, so coming home really is a homecoming.  It’s wonderful!  I see family, friends, people I haven’t even thought of in a dozen years.  You know what I like best about home?  I fit there.  See, where I live now, I don’t understand the rules.  I didn’t grow up here.  It’s not my territory.  I don’t really even like it here, although I love my local friends and I love where I live.  But, by and large, I don’t understand the rules here, thus I am a misfit.  True, I am a misfit back home as well, but I’m an accepted misfit.  BIG difference. 

                I like going home because everything I always loved about home is always there waiting for me whenever I return.  It’s beautiful.  Inanimate objects such as secret favorite places, mountains, restaurants, etc., are waiting there for me always, greeting me like an old friend.  I’m never forgotten there.  I so love feeling like I still matter and I haven’t been forgotten.  That may be the best feeling I’ve ever encountered, and I can’t quite put into words how wonderful it feels.

                Isn’t that what we all want?  Home!  A place we fit, belong, thrive and feel ultimately at peace.  I’ve heard it said that you can’t go home.  Your old friend Silas is here to tell you that that’s rubbish.  You can.  You should.  We must.

-Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode 19

The State of the Union

                Utter chaos.  Absolute insanity.  Total foolishness and a complete lack of regard.  This is how I would describe the state of our country at this moment.  If it were many years ago and I was a child and you would have told me that this is the way our country would look when I was this age, I would have made a strong case for your need for therapy.  There’s no way I could have ever seen this coming.  The division, the strife, the apathy, the petty division; it all seems a means to a very, very ugly end.  Personally, I can’t stand it.  It’s driving me crazy.

                Here’s the important question, as we narrow the scope of this problem:  What is the goth community doing to improve the situation?  If you read my last blog, you’d know that I don’t think we’re doing a damned thing to improve the situation.  Here’s where I wax all dreamy and (most likely) non-sensical.  What if we lit the way to change?  What if we were the ones to set the example?  How about we set aside all the nonsense and rise above the bullshit (please pardon the crudeness) to actually be the example?  That would be amazing and inspiring!  But, sadly, we probably won’t.  We’ll just keep wearing weird clothes and pretending we live somewhere else. 

                The crux of the situation is this:  Somebody has to do something.  Wouldn’t it be cool if it were us?  I don’t know about you, but I do consider myself a bit of a patriot.  I love this country, even if we are a complete mess.  And I’m not pointing fingers.  The mess of this country goes back a very long time.  We just never fixed it along the way.  Oddly enough, we’ve all been searching for validity.  Well, here’s our chance.  If you can’t be part of the solution, please wear your weird clothes in another country.  There are far too many benchwarmers here already.  I’m headed to the frontlines.  Hope to see you there.

-Silas

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode #18

Disarray and General Stupidity

It has come to my attention as of late that the gothic community is in a bit of a state of disarray.  I see people who claim to be “accepting” and “open-hearted” waging little ridiculous battles against others of the very same kind.  Well, to that I say a hearty and sarcastic congratulations.  By virtue of your pettiness and nonsense, you’ve managed to become just like everyone else in the world.  Nice job on being “different.”  You sure claim to be different, don’t you?  Of course you do.  All goths do.  But I’m the type of person that examines behavior and actions far more than appearance.  Shame on you if you’re involved in any kind of drama and otherwise divisive behavior.  What on Earth are you thinking?  If I sound angry, it’s because I am.  This is exactly the type of behavior that gives everyone the right to not take you seriously. 

                I believe in the goth community, culture and movement.  That’s why I’m mad.  It’s personally embarrassing to me to see what’s going on right now.  There are goth conventions, set up with the very best of intentions, that some of you won’t attend just because of some petty, childish grudges.  Again, shame on you.  This is a recipe for failure amongst the goth culture.  Division is never the way to go in such instances. 

                If we continue to behave like silly little children, then we deserve the reputation we have amongst the mainstream culture.  Many of you claim to be fighting stereotypes.  If you’re serious about that, stop creating them, dummy.  Unite.  Stop fighting and backbiting.  Stop gossiping.  Can’t you realize that we’re all united under the same banner?  No, you can’t.  You’re too focused on being heard, whatever that means.  Put down your swords and shields, grow up, embrace your brothers and sisters and move forward in unity.  To summarize (in case you haven’t received my point yet), many of you are behaving like asses.  Stop giving good goths a bad name.  If you don’t like honesty, stop reading my stuff.  There’s lots of tabloids out there that would suit you just fine.

-Silas 

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode #17

Don’t Call it a Comeback

                I’m turning the corner on what is, in my opinion, a very important birthday.  Not necessarily one of those birthdays that one typically considers a “landmark” birthday, but it’s a big one to me, nonetheless.  I intend to celebrate accordingly, of course, as I never do anything halfway.  I specifically remember having a conversation with myself several years ago.  I remember exactly where I wanted to be and what I had decided I wanted to have accomplished by this particular birthday (and you can stop wondering, I’m not going to tell you how old I am).  Some of those expectations I’d set for myself back then I’m quite proud to say I’ve far exceeded.  To some, to my disappointment, I’ve fallen dramatically short. 

                So, as I rapidly approach this landmark age increase I find myself more and more mindful of the things I didn’t quite get accomplished…yet.  That, my friends, is the key.  A deadline missed is not a goal defeated.  I like the sound of that.  Wherever you are, just hear yourself say it out loud.  A deadline missed is not a goal defeated.  It’s just a bit delayed.  Maybe those things are still another “X” amount of years away from being conquered.  But I don’t have to quit.  Yeah, the landscape has changed over the years as my life has changed in some big ways.  All that means is that I have to modify my approach to get those things done.

                I like making you think, and I hope I’m doing so right this very minute.  If not now, perhaps when you lay your head down to slumber.  Maybe then, as you rest quietly in your resting place, these words will register again in your consciousness.  Because there’s a lot of stuff you haven’t done or accomplished yet.  You know it, I know it.  I’m putting those “undones” on the short list of “get it dones.”  After all, I’m not gonna be here forever.

-Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode #16

The Human Condition

Is it me, or does it seem like the vast majority of the populace is having the worst year ever?  Really, I’ve been thinking on this for quite some time now and I’ve spoken with a great number of people regarding this very subject and it seems I’m far from alone in feeling the way I do.  So, what’s going on in the goth community in regards to the rest of the world?  Comparably speaking, is it good?  Is it bad?  Is the community, as a whole, thriving, or is it floundering?  I don’t really know how to answer these questions, as my experiences are extremely varied.

                This is the point I’m trying to make:  We (you) in the goth community try so very hard to be apart from the status quo.  We like to see ourselves as outside and above the culture around us, but at the same time, we’re all going through the exact same stuff!  So, in all of our efforts to be so far outside the mainstream, it’s interesting that we find ourselves in the exact same place in which everyone else is.  And I can tell you exactly why that is so.  You see, humans are humans.  Some are white.  Some are black.  Some are rich, poor, tall, short, fat, skinny, gay, hetero, etc.  None of that matters because none of us can escape the hardships of the real world.  One thing I cannot tolerate is to see people of the gothic community behave as if they are better, or even different, than anyone else.  Behavior that comes from a false sense of enlightenment and entitlement is certainly what keeps all of us lumped into the same category:  Freaks and losers.  I can’t disagree.  If that’s how we largely behave, then that’s largely what we are. 

                I couldn’t care less if you think that’s true or not.  I don’t write this blog to be popular.  I like to think I write to inform and entertain.  I try to do both as best I can.  But when we (goths) spend all our energy and effort to live outside the lines, we’d also better be prepared for the consequences. 

                We’re all victims of the human condition.  All susceptible to torment and strife.  The further we alienate ourselves from everyone around us, the further we get from our source of help and hope.  What is our source of help and hope?  The countless people all around us that are all struggling through the same things we are. 

                We’re not elite because we look different.  We’re the same as everybody else. 

-Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Episode #15

Bringing It All Together

There’s been an awful lot to think about this week.  And by awful, I truly mean awful.  I have strong roots in the Denver, Colorado area.  I have tons of friends and some family out there.  The movie theatre shooting really impacted me personally.  Then, a day later, I got word from a close friend out on the west coast.  She told me how her father was brutally murdered by his girlfriend of eight years.  Then, a day later, I got word that a local buddy of mine passed away at a relatively young age from a heart attack and subsequent stroke.  Yep, there’s been an awful lot to think about this week. 

                Where do we go with things like this?  How do we effectively grasp the gravity of these events while still maintaining forward momentum in our daily lives?  I’m wrestling with that a little bit.  Normally, I like to think of myself as a well-balanced guy.  I typically take life’s blows and deal with them in stride.  Suffice to say, sometimes life hits a little hard and there’s just too damned much to think about.  That’s been this week for me. 

                Hey, don’t pity your old buddy Silas.  I don’t appreciate or covet sympathy.  I’ll figure all of this stuff out just like I do everything else that comes my way.  I’m a survivor.  Just like you.  And if you don’t believe you’re a survivor, please consider the fact that your lungs are drawing breath even as you read this and you still sleep on this side of the sod.  We’re survivors, you and me.  I’m proud of that.  I’m proud of you.  Hell, I probably don’t even know you and yet I’m compelled to hear your story. 

                So, let’s make a deal (in my mind I said that just like Monty Hall).  You be there for me, and I’ll be there for you.  True, we probably don’t know each other.  But send me some good vibes.  I give you my word, I’ll send them right back.  Let’s infuse our culture with love and strength and positive energy.  We can be not only different, but a difference.  I’m fortunate that I’ve had a couple kind souls be the difference for me this week.  Very fortunate.

                If you ever need, I’ll be a difference for you as well.  You can always find your old buddy Silas at silasmcbane@gmail.com.  Peace and love to the beautifully dark community.  God knows there’s been enough bad lately.  Love you all.

-Silas McBane 

Changes

Dear DGM readers,

Change is hard. It can be unnerving and scary. It can also be exhilarating and empowering! With that said, there are some changes taking place here at DGM. We're confident these changes will help make DGM an easier, more enjoyable, and truly interactive experience.

First of all, a change of format for the magazine site itself. We will continue to provide exclusive content written by the staff here at DGM, but we are preparing to fully activate the new "User Content" section of the magazine. This means that there will now be forums for articles, reviews, tutorials, art, and more all done exclusively by you! You'll be able to create your content and upload it directly to the website for the world to see. Once fully implemented, uploading your own content will be a fast, seamless, and simple procedure.

We also have a new Editor-in-Chief. Editor Gothviking Pasclato has stepped down and the position has been accepted by Sophia Nightwarden. We wish Pasclato all the best, and we're looking forward to seeing what Sophia brings to the table as the website progresses.

Overall, we here at DGM are constantly working to expand and improve the magazine and are committed to providing the best experience for everyone. Our goal is to create an open-ended user experience that is entertaining, informative, and interactive. So be sure to keep watching as we take our magazine in new and exciting directions! We will also be adding new information and tutorials to explain the new features of the site and to keep you updated as we continue to grow.

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane Ep. #14

My Inner Aussie

I like fake accents.  Those closest to me know that I frequently break into a British, Irish, Scottish, German or Australian accent in public at a moment’s notice.  I don’t know why I do it.  Perhaps because I’m very, very strange.  I think that’s the explanation most would offer for that type of behavior.  However, I think I use fake accents for the same reason many of you are goth.  Yeah, I’m probably about to strike a nerve. 

I like to use fake accents because sometimes it’s just fun to not be me.  I’m known to travel a good bit, therefore, I spend some time in airports.  From time to time, if I’m in an airport that isn’t my “home” airport, I’ll pretend to be Australian.  Why?  Hell, I don’t know really.  I know it’s fun, I get to strike up brilliantly stimulating conversations with complete strangers, and people I’ve never met before buy me beers.  There is, however, that earnest fear that one of these days I’m gonna meet a real Aussie in the airport and the jig will be up.  Even I can’t fake out a native.   I’m not exactly thrilled about the potential for that to happen.  I know I’m rolling the dice every time I do it.  But it sure is fun…for now.

                So, back to my point.  I use fake accents for the same reason many of you are goth.  Am I Australian?  Nope, there’s not an Aussie bone in my body.  I pretend.  Yes, that’s right.  I fake it.  I do it because it’s fun and I’m getting over on everyone around me.  There’s a weird self-satisfaction that goes along with it, I suppose.  Some goths are just faking it.  You know the ones to which I’m referring.  They kinda dress it, they kinda talk it, they kinda seem like it, but they just don’t get it.  How does one deal with such a character?  First, I think we have to have an understanding of how sad it is for someone to not know who they really are.  Nothing, in my opinion, is much sadder than the human with a lost sense of self.  Yet I hate how cruel the world is to those who are in such a state.  We’ve all been there.  Lost, rejected, no idea who or what we are, etc.  Can you remember what would have been most helpful to you during that time?  I sure can.  It’s love.  It’s acceptance.  It’s approval and validation.  Nothing can replace a sense of belonging or a hand on the shoulder that says, “your place is here.”  When is the last time you went out of your way to explore the fringes and find that lost soul and give them a safe place?  I’ve made up my mind to do it as often as I can.  Someone did it for me once…

-Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane episode #13

Secondhand Saints

Silas McBane

Here’s a ballad for the broken

The forgotten and the lost

A verse for the weary

And the lines that we cross

We’re a bit off the trend

Outside the lines

Maybe they think we’ve fallen

But we think we’re fine

We are the ones

We are secondhand saints

With a limp in our step we’re the same

Ever united

Yet strangely divided

We walk though we’re all a bit lame

Secondhand saints just the same

We pray in different places

We walk in different shoes

We love and we hate

We win and we lose

But there’s a common thread a-weavin’

We’re hand in hand

But we’re not forgotten

We’re just secondhand

We are the ones

We are secondhand saints

With a limp in our step we’re the same

Ever united

Yet strangely divided

We walk though we’re all a bit lame

Secondhand saint just the same

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #12

A Blank Page

Why, you ask, is the normally loquacious Silas a blank page?  Well, I suppose I just am.  Either I’m fresh out of ideas for today or there are far too many random, inane thoughts scrambling about my head to wrangle one and wrestle it into literary submission.  Perhaps I lack the focus or energy to be creative today.  I think I just plain old don’t feel like writing this thing at this particular moment.  But…I gave my word.  Not only that, I signed a contract.  My dad told me once, “If you don’t have your word, you don’t have anything.”  So, I’m keeping my word.  True, I’m not giving 100% here, which is something my dad would be less than impressed with. 

I remember when my dad taught me how to throw a baseball.  That was fantastic.  I’ve been a huge baseball fan my whole life.  Most sports, in fact, I’m very fond of.  Weird stuff for a goth, I know.  Don’t get worked up.  I still wear black.

I bought three plain black t-shirts for $3 each a couple days ago.  I was astounded by the deal I got on those, especially considering they fit so very well.  I would have given $4 for them!  That’s how much I like them.  They go well with my shoes.

You know, a comfortable pair of shoes is one of life’s simple pleasures, don’t you think?  A really cool-looking AND comfortable pair of shoes is the Holy Grail of footwear, in my opinion.

I watched Indiana Jones the other day.  You know, the one where he’s with his dad and he’s searching for the Holy Grail?  That was a great movie.  I can’t help but watch the Indiana Jones movies every time they’re on T.V.

On T.V. tonight is the MLB All-Star Game, which I’m extremely excited about.  I’ve been a huge baseball fan my whole life.  Did I ever tell you about the time my dad taught me to throw a baseball…?


-Silas McBane

Check out more Gothic thoughts at DarkestGoth Magazine!

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #13

Elemental

There's a feeling in the air
So uneasy, this time
This time I won't fail and miss the chance to see my life
Alive
And I…I'm alive

 

Elemental caution stirs
Breaking will so strong, too strong
So open up my eyes and wash away the years of fear
And pain
And I…I'm alive

 

Just so you know
I will not be denied
And everything that lives in me
It's undenied

 

I'm the fool who gave up everything
Only for the chance to see
Only fools would give up anything
That foolish man is me

 

Just so you know
I will not be denied

 

-Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #12

Get a Job

Why don't more Goths have good great careers?  Heck, why don't more goths have jobs?  Do you ever think about that?  I do.  I have a job.  A career, in fact.  I work for a government agency, for crying out loud!  How anti-goth is that?!  However, I've worked and trained and schooled long and hard to get where I am and I'm very proud of myself.  It's a great feeling, getting up every day and going to work and doing something I enjoy which, in turn, makes other people happy.  The paycheck is nice, too.  Did anyone hand this to me?  Hell, no.  I worked my tail off for it.  THAT is why I can be proud of where I am.  Because I have this career, I have a home, a car, and I can care for my children and do the things I want to do.

 Okay, I realize it sounds like I'm bragging.  Point taken.  But I'm really not.  I'm merely trying to make a point.  Far too many Goths are jobless because they're so consumed with "sticking it to the man" that they fail to do what's best for themselves.  Sounds kind of counter-productive, don't you think?  To me, I can be successful, and that can be my way of sticking it to the man, because the world doesn't see us as a successful culture/sub-culture of people!  No, no matter what you want to do with your life, you're not going to start at the top.  I sure didn't.  I spent a lot of years as a helper.  Valuable, painstaking, pride-swallowing, wonderful years.  Catch my drift?  Get up.  Go get what you want. 

 

This world doesn't hand out anything to anybody.  Anything worth having is worth fighting for and working for.  I remember when I embarked on this career path back in 1999.  I wondered if it would ever amount to anything.  I think I was supporting a family off of around $11 an hour at the time.  But I stuck with it.  I persevered.  I stayed focused.

 It's not un-goth to be successful, dummy.  Go do it.  And quit making excuses for why you can't.  You're embarrassing the rest of us who did it while you were whining about why you can't.

 -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #11

Making Sense of it All

 

 If this particular article came with a disclaimer, it would read:  Warning—the following article contains varying degrees of random thoughts, incoherent rants and bizarre musings.  I guess I have a lot of weird stuff that goes through my mind.  This is my space.  I can write whatever I like.  Here I go…

 How does erasable ink work?  Isn't it weird?  I mean, it's ink, but a pencil eraser removes it from paper.  But it isn't a pencil! 

 Magnets.  They are the strangest things I've ever seen and I could play with them for hours.  Facing each other in one direction, they shoot towards each other like rockets.  Turn one over, and they repel each other!  It's like they have split personalities!

 There are so many varieties of cheese out there that I fear I will live my entire life without getting to sample most of them.  This makes Silas very, very sad.  Please send me strange, interesting, delicious cheeses.

 I love my cat.  She is everything a cat should be.  She never listens to me, she doesn't approach when called, she scratches up my stuff and she irritates my friends.  She's the perfect pet.

 I don't understand how mean people function.

 I need many, many more guitars.

 The weather where I live is so strange.  It has a mind.  It thinks.  It plans…for my barbecues.

 I miss the days where there was no internet, no cell phones, no 5,000,000 channels on television, school books with questionable material, friendly neighbors, cheap fuel and healthy churches.

 For every single piece of meat on a crappy (non-Philadelphia) Philly cheesesteak sandwich, it seems there are three times as many onions or peppers.  Don't get me wrong, I love the onions and peppers.  But my soul craves the cheesesteak.

 Finally, it occurs to me what an honor it is that you read my silly little articles.  I think you are brilliant, beautiful, strong, special and amazing.  Every human I see, I don't see just what I'm looking at.  I see a shooting star ready to launch.

 -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #10

Masks

 

 I was thinking today about the masks I wear.  I wear a lot of them and it depends on who I'm with and the situation in which I find myself as to which mask I wear.  For example, when I'm at work, I wear my "work" mask.  I'm a certain way on the clock and it's all about efficiency, deadlines and business.  I don't wear that mask when I'm playing music, hanging out with my friends, or just relaxing at home.  Catch my drift?

 I have a very good friend whom I've known for several years now.  I'm very fortunate to have worked with him for two different companies now.  He has been a great advantage to me in many ways.  He's just one of those guys who doesn't seem to panic over anything.  Here's what I mean:  He and his wife have been trying very hard to have a second child.  About a month ago, we were all very excited to learn that they had been successful in their efforts.  Then, as a result of the pregnancy and growing family, they knew it was time to upgrade to a larger home.  They found a home, sold their old one, miscarried the baby, and found out he was losing his job all within about a week.  Many of us would have been crippled by all of these things.  How could any of us manage such hardship?

 He still comes to work every single day, even knowing his job is ending soon.  His attitude and demeanor haven't changed a bit.  He's still kind, gentle, and caring.  I came to realize that that is his mask.  That's who he wants people to see.  But who is he when he's afforded the opportunity to be vulnerable and remove his mask?  Is he still strong?  Is he hurt?  Afraid?  Is he a child?  I know who I am when my masks are all taken off.  And I also know that that's who I really am.  But few ever see it.  Some do, mind you, but very few.  See, we have to take off all the masks sometimes.  Otherwise, we start to forget who we really, really are.  It's like telling the same lie so many times you begin to believe it yourself.  Who are you when your masks have all been removed?  Does anyone ever get to see that version of you?  I hope so.  Otherwise, I think your life is being half-lived.

-Silas McBane

 

 

For more on the thoughts of Silas McBane and other Gothic writers, be sure to check out: DarkestGoth Magazine!

DGM News from the Editor: Festival and Site…

Dear DGM readers,

 

As you know, we had some issues shortly after launch with our hosting provider and have since taken the needed precautions to correct that.  As of today, the site is fully transferred and a number of the beta bugs from the soft launch have been fixed. 

 

You can now check out a new photo gallery that went live today of DGM Model Fenix Jenkins and you can also now officially sign up to be a part of the community.  You'll be able to post your ideas, thoughts, and concepts, and you can now submit new articles on the site.  While there are still a few cosmetic things that we're improving upon, you will find full functionality of the different elements we have live.  (While the Achievements programming is not yet live, you will receive DOUBLE experience towards leveling up if you choose to submit articles, artwork, videos, and the like on our submission page before the program officially goes live!)

 

Check it out at: http://www.darkestgoth.com

 

Additionally, you can now buy your tickets for the Mira Nocta BlueGrass Goth Fest event (August 24-26 in Lexington, KY) on Kickstarter! Listed on Kickstarter as the Bluegrass Goth Fest, this makes it easy for folks to understand that it's an event for Goths and not a movie! (Plus, the use of "Bluegrass"—which is the part of the midwest it's hosted in—next to "Goth" is guaranteed to make a lot of folks curious about this incredible event!)

 

This is a limited seating event capped at just 150 seats and, during the Kickstarter campaign, a gift of only $25 will get you one of these rare tickets.  If you want to further help support this great event, you'll unlock extremely rare collectibles and experiences.  The campaign lasts only 18 days and will conclude on July 15th.  If all tickets are gone by the conclusion of this campaign, no more will be sold.  (And, for those of you who may have been burned in the past, the event will definitely take place if only 44 are sold, with a full refund given by Kickstarter if, for some reason, that goal isn't met.) With the successful completion of this campaign, Goths around the country and the world will have a fully scalable way to bring Gothic festivals to their area! Be a part of the beginning of our united future!

 

Check out our video and find out what you can be looking forward to:

 

Click Here to go to the BlueGrass Goth Fest.

 

 

Special thanks goes to Sophia Nightwarden for some 11th hour help coming up with a much clearer overview of the festival for Kickstarter, which made it easy for them to say "yes" to this momentous event.  Additional thanks go to DarkestButterfly who came up with some great research on this and other funding choices, and Mike Flanagan, whose great advice from MicroFilmmaker Magazine was a huge help!

 

GV Pasclato

Note from DGM editor: Update on June 22nd...

Hey guys,

This week has been a long one. As you can see, we are still  transitioning our site over to new hosting, which always is a bit unpredictable in timing. We anticipate being up and running next week, however.  

We also are looking forward to getting more information about the festival campaign next week--as there were some crossed-signals on some things there. Fortunately, we had some amazing help from Sophia Nightwarden (DM) and some great research from DarkestButterfly (DM)! Community is not defined by its ease, but how it functions under adversity!

We do have some exciting news.  The folks over at the Gothic-inspired World of Depleted (http://www.worldofdepleted.com ) post-apocalyptic  community will be officially collaborating with DarkestGoth to provide creative writing, artistic, and filmmaking opportunities for our readers.  The things we have talked about could be as simple as recording a video message after the Fall to writing more in-depth stories to even directing a film in this world. Unlike a lot of creative communities, contributors in World of Depleted get a chance to help impact the core storylines by their creations and even share in profits!

More as we have it!

Editor GV Pasclato

Note from Editor: Main Site Temporarily being refitted...

Hey guys,

If you came through here, it's because the main DGM site is being refitted.  These sorts of things often are necessary on initial launch, since, while things are preplanned as well as they can be, invariably there are snags that only occur at launch.  The great news is that, in the midst of this, we're updating how our site is being hosted, so this should allow our readers to have a far superior reading and viewing experience!

We really appreciate your patience!

Editor GV Pasclato

Note from the Editor: Update on DarkestGoth site...

Friends & Fellow Goths,

You may have noticed a few things this past weekend with the launch of the new DarkestGoth Magazine website.  Some good, some not so good. I just wanted to address a few of them and let you know what's happening on our end.


1) DGM Launch on Friday - We were extremely happy to make our launch date of June 15th, as we want to make sure that we are always a magazine you can depend on.  The amount of content wasn't huge, but that's because a lot of content will be released on a periodic basis so that there will always be something cool to check out at your DarkestGoth Magazine.

2) Mira Nocta - There's been a lot of excitement about the new Gothic festival that will be in Lexington on August 24th-26h.  One of the questions folks have been asking is: When can I start to support the Kickstarter campaign and get tickets, etc.?  The answer is: soon.  We had intended for the Kickstarter campaign to be live day-and-date when we launched on Friday but there were a few unforseen delays which should be dealt with shortly.  As soon as it's live, we'll have our teams get out the information so you can get your tickets and the other cool gifts related to the event!


3) Beta Login issues - One of the things mentioned in our launch was that we are testing out a pretty robust community and achievement backend for the site.  As such, registration is currently in a beta form.  Part of what beta allows is for new users to help us find out where glitches are occurring and folks were quite helpful therein.    As such, improvements on the Beta Registration will be coming later this week!


4) Site Down Currently - We've recently encountered some downtime from the hosting provider that our team has been using for seven years.  This is unacceptable, as our readers need to know that they they can go to DGM whenever they wish and that it will be available.  As such, we will be switching hosting providers in the next week to one that we've researched heavily and who has made the right choices to improving reliability and dependability.

We appreciate your patience with the different snags related to the launch and look forward with anticipation to getting them firmly behind us as we move ahead!

-GV Pasclato
Editor-in-Chief
DarkestGoth Magazine

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane, Ep. #9

Every New Day

Every single day something happens.  Something good, something bad, I see a miracle, I witness a tragedy.  I'm often astounded at all of life's intricacies as I step back and really look at each day and its events.  It's not like I'm a stranger to life and its various triumphs and challenges.  I've been around the block, as they say.  But more and more, I find myself so wonderfully amazed by all of the big and little things that happen every single day.  Some things just happen, other things I make happen.  Life is such a beautiful adventure.  When I started seeing life this way some time ago, my entire perspective changed.  Suddenly, the tragedies and shortcomings weren't quite as bitter and the victories were so much sweeter.  Admittedly, perhaps a strange outlook for a goth.  I get that.  We're predisposed to the darker side of things and we tend to take on life as a "glass is half empty" endeavor.  However, I'm a firm believer that humans shape their own worlds and destinies.  I refuse to let circumstance and day-to-day life dictate all of my various outcomes.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a control freak.  Quite the contrary, actually.  I tend to be a "go with the flow" kind of guy.  But I also know from experience that life can happen to me, or I can happen to life.  I don't always succeed at it.  It's not as if it's an exact science or a foolproof plan.  It's more a philosophy, really.  I just want to take all of these beautiful and/or painful experiences and turn them into something magical.  Yeah, yeah, I sound like Peter Pan in a black shirt and makeup, I know.  But have you ever taken a step back and really objectively looked at a day's events after it's all done?  I personally got very tired of missing all these fantastic opportunities to create my own universe around me.  Again, I know this is a stretch for many within the beautifully dark community, but just hear me out.  We like to go against the grain.  We don't follow the status quo, typically.  Can you imagine what it would to do the general public's perception of goths if we were…wait for it…happy?  Achieving?  Successful, even?  What a novel idea!  Call me crazy (and you quite likely already have), but this is a much higher quality of life for us.  Don't you think?

                                  -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane: Ep. #11

I Blew It

 I blew it today.  Big time. 

 

I had a deadline to meet, and I missed it by a mile.  Like, "I need another week," blew it.  It happens from time to time.  I work in a high stress field that requires a lot from me.  I have a leadership position that puts me up against the wall sometimes.  Here's the thing:  Whether you have just some menial job or you have a full-blown career, pressure and deadlines happen.  I've never worked in the fast food industry, but I have the utmost respect for those that do, and I mean that honestly.  They're overworked, underpaid and most definitely underappreciated.  Talk about a high-pressure position!  I've had a lot of jobs along the way to getting where I am.  I've done things I never wanted to do or thought I would do.  But I'm realizing it's the same at every level, every job.  Things must be done and certain things I'm very responsible for getting done myself. 

 A few years ago, missing a deadline would have meant absolutely nothing to me.  I couldn't have cared less.  I would have continued on in whatever role I had and not thought another thing about it.  Somehow over the years, I started to care.  Call it maturation, responsibility, whatever.  These days, I can't stand the thought of poor performance on my job.  It's not about people-pleasing.  I'm the last person to care what anyone thinks about me.  But it's about "me-pleasing."  I want to make myself feel happy, accomplished and fulfilled.  I realized a long time ago that no one can make me feel that way but me. 

 Here's what I'm saying:  Nobody, and I mean nobody, can make you feel satisfied in any job whatsoever except for you.  It's important to get a grip on internal happiness and satisfaction.  The external variety feels pretty good, admittedly, but it only lasts so long.  The type of satisfaction we as humans crave is only going to come from that place deep inside each of us.  I'm saying we need to stop seeking the constant approval of others and reach a new level within ourselves.  That will lead us to satisfaction, success, and ultimately happiness.  For me, that means a lot more than money, position or anything else I can achieve in the working world. 

I sleep wonderfully at night.  How about you?

 

Silas McBane

 

--

 

To read more of Silas McBane's work, head over to DarkestGoth Magazine.

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane #8: Kicking the Bucket

 I live out in the country.  Like out in-the-middle-of-nowhere country.  I love it here.  I grew up very secluded, on a horse ranch in Nowhereseville, Wyoming.  A bizarre upbringing for a future goth and musician, I know.  But peace, quiet, landscape and countryside have always been my sanctuary since I was a little boy.  One of my favorite things to do is go outside of a clear night, sit on my front porch, and just think about the universe.  I solve the world's problems in my mind on those evenings.  I think of all of the really important stuff in life, from pizza toppings to politics to religion to reality television.  I tackle it all from that cool, concrete platform.  A little while ago, I began contemplating my bucket list.  For those among you who are not "in the know," a bucket list is simply a list comprised of all the tiny and gigantic things I'd like to accomplish before I "kick the bucket."  Hence, "bucket" list.  If you'll be kind enough to keep it our little secret, I'd like to share my bucket list with you.

(In no particular order)

1.  Visit Ireland and Germany (as I'm of equal Irish and German heritage)
2. Take a cruise
3. Take a hot air balloon ride
4. Meet my other half
5. Marry my other half
6. Spoil my grandkids
7. Get a book or article published
8. Own a mid-late 60s Lincoln
9. Visit every state in the U.S.
10. Play music and perform in front of thousands at one time
11. Get a college degree
12. Scuba dive
13. Repay my parents
14. Take a helicopter tour of Mount Rushmore (an obsession of mine)
15. Save someone's life
16. Write "THE" song
17. Drive a Corvette
18. Watch my children succeed
19. Go to Vegas
20. Eat an In&Out burger

Proudly, to date, I have actually accomplished numbers 7, 10, 16, 19 and 20.  Incidentally, you are proving my success regarding number 7.  Congratulations.  Number 4 is mysterious, but I have a potential candidate in mind (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).  Everything else is just something I want to achieve/do/have.  Believe me, I'm working on a number of things on this list.  I want to accomplish every single thing on it.  I will accomplish every single thing on it.

 

 What a brilliantly beautiful voyage of self-discovery.  Have you a bucket list, my friend?  If not, put "writing a bucket list" on your bucket list.
 

                                  -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane #7: Meet Yourself, Part #2 (a how-To)

 *Deep breath*  Lots to cover in a short space, friends.  Let me first say how much love I have for the beautifully dark community.  I have met and am proud to know some of the most amazing human beings I've ever met through the gothic community and I, for one, am so proud of our family and culture.  But something is missing, friends.  A lot is missing, truthfully.  This world needs us, and we're doing so very little.  You're no doubt wondering for what purpose the world needs us.  The world needs you and I like it needs the doctor, the artist, the teacher, the construction worker, the dancer, the architect, the musician, the poet, the CEO, etc.  Sadly, I see within the goth community a very lax mentality that reeks of defeat.  Strong words, I know.  But it seems for every foot of ground we gain we sometimes lose two more because we don't know ourselves, we don't pursue our dreams and we drift off into a darkly-dressed vortex of mediocrity.  Let me whisper a secret in your ear:  I want to be great.

 I have several goals, dreams, visions, whatever you want to call them.  I'm actively pursuing every single one right now.  It was not always this way.  I, much like so many of you, had once upon a time accepted the cold, draining grip of the status quo.  "Whatever I will be, I will be," I used to think.  It seems I would have just accepted whatever life would throw at me and refuse to admit that I could change my stars.  Boy, was I wrong.  I began to think about myself.  Yeah, that sounds narcissistic, but hear me out.  I started dismantling my life internally, examining my thoughts, digging so very deep beneath my own surface.  As I started to understand myself, I realized that I have value.  I have talent.  I have dreams!  I have a destiny, should I choose to accept it. 

 So, let's be practical.  Yes, I had to start working my tail off.  I had to figure out what I wanted to do and then I had to start thinking about how to do it.  One thing was for sure, after catching a hold of what dreams I wanted to make come true, all Hell couldn't stop me.  So I started doing it, little by little, day by day, I kept doing the things that got me closer to my goals.  After a while (and several shortcomings and disappointments), I started seeing it all happen.  Have you ever seen the finish line after a long race?  No feeling compares.  THAT is what's lacking in our community.  Drive.  Effort.  The unflinching belief that the world will be a richer place when it sees what we have to offer. 

Summarizing, I have to ask:  Do you know you?  If you don't, I encourage you to take that journey.  If you do, get out there and do it.  More than ever, this world needs us.

 

                                  -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane #6: Meet Yourself, Part #1

Okay, let's be straight.  In the time we spend getting to know one another via this brilliant publication, you'll see a variety of moods and sides from your friend Silas.  I'll lift you up, make you laugh, incur your wrath and at times utterly confuse you.  Safe to say I'll be all over the place.  But I don't necessarily want to introduce you to me.  I want to introduce you to YOU.  Yes, you.  I don't think you even know who you are.  You know what you like, dislike, what you want, don't want, etc.  But do you really know who you are?  You are brilliant.  You are gifted, talented, beautiful in ways many will never experience or comprehend.  You are a blueprint for success.  Look, we know we're different.  That's a widely understood view among the wonderfully dark community.  Are you just different because you dress differently, or is there something much deeper?  The latter, I think. 

 So what I'm saying is this:  Until you know you, you'll wander aimlessly about this world just looking and behaving differently, but never accomplishing anything of note.  I, for one, decided some time ago that if I'm going to be different, as I seemingly was predestined to be, then I'm going to be different for a reason.  A purpose.  Not just different, but a difference.  Dig?  You can do things no one else can do.  There are gifts, talents, ideas, inspirations, dreams and all sorts of wild notions scratching and clawing beneath your exterior and I think you know it.  What's stopping you?  What holds you back?  You can be you in the most amazing way anyone could be.  But it takes courage.  It takes effort.  It takes (brace yourself for a four-letter word) WORK.  We all have a greatness inside somewhere.  It's impossible to be a human being and not possess some level of brilliance.  My advice to you:  Stop just dressing different.  BE different and BE AMAZING!  Next time we meet, I'll start telling you how.  Stick with me.  It's gonna be good.

 

                                  -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane #5: The Green Grass of Bitter Winter

That spot of grass over there
It stays green, even in coldest winter
Could it choose to fight, to live?
Does it differ so from other grasses?
It's so cold
It's so dark
Day after bitter day
You live
You thrive
You survive
I say a prayer of thanks to the universe
For artificial turf

 

                                  -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane #4: Perfect World

 Let's say the world, more specifically your world, were perfect.  What might that look like?  Would you have all of things items and toys you've ever wanted?  Would you have the perfect job?  No job?  The perfect mate?  Piles of money?  Have you ever thought about it?  See, I have this naïve notion about humanity.  I believe that, for the most part, people are intrinsically good.  Somewhere deep, deep down, people want to be fulfilled from their souls, not from their wallets.  We want to be internally joyous, not externally.  I wonder how many of us would accept the offer of perpetual peace for the rest of our lives in place of riches and greatness.  I wonder if I could accept such an offer, although I know it's that for which my soul cries out.

 I met an interesting fellow the other day.  He was homeless.  He was dirty, hungry, alone and had virtually nothing in his possession aside from his filthy clothes and a tattered backpack filled with who-knows-what.  I saw him in a parking lot.  He approached me and instantly I thought he'd ask me for money.  To my surprise, he did not.  He saw me reach in my pocket and he informed me he wasn't interested in money.  He had no use for it, he claimed.  He simply wanted to know the time.  That's all he wanted!  We chatted for a few brief moments and he told me he lives the way he does by choice, not because he was thrust into it by some twist of fate or dramatic misfortune.  He simply wanted to gracefully bow out of the world's system and find his own way.  Obviously, that isn't a choice many of us would make, but it's what he decided his soul wanted after years and years of toil and stress.  He was peaceful.  He was happy.  He was free.

 Never would I advocate anyone make that choice.  However, to each his/her own.  That's not necessarily my path to peace and happiness, but I'll admit it did sound awfully appealing the way he described it.  It's not the whole homeless aspect that moved me, mind you.  It was the sense of peace and freedom he had achieved.  That took tremendous courage for him to make that decision.

 So, after much consideration, I think I could use a re-evaluation of my life.  Where it's going, what I want/need, etc.  I'm inspired.  Funny thing, inspiration.  It leads us to fantastically amazing conclusions and, if we so allow, wondrous free adventures and peace. 

                                  -Silas McBane

Re: The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane #4: Perfect World

 Let's say the world, more specifically your world, were perfect.  What might that look like?  Would you have all of things items and toys you've ever wanted?  Would you have the perfect job?  No job?  The perfect mate?  Piles of money?  Have you ever thought about it?  See, I have this naïve notion about humanity.  I believe that, for the most part, people are intrinsically good.  Somewhere deep, deep down, people want to be fulfilled from their souls, not from their wallets.  We want to be internally joyous, not externally.  I wonder how many of us would accept the offer of perpetual peace for the rest of our lives in place of riches and greatness.  I wonder if I could accept such an offer, although I know it's that for which my soul cries out.

 I met an interesting fellow the other day.  He was homeless.  He was dirty, hungry, alone and had virtually nothing in his possession aside from his filthy clothes and a tattered backpack filled with who-knows-what.  I saw him in a parking lot.  He approached me and instantly I thought he'd ask me for money.  To my surprise, he did not.  He saw me reach in my pocket and he informed me he wasn't interested in money.  He had no use for it, he claimed.  He simply wanted to know the time.  That's all he wanted!  We chatted for a few brief moments and he told me he lives the way he does by choice, not because he was thrust into it by some twist of fate or dramatic misfortune.  He simply wanted to gracefully bow out of the world's system and find his own way.  Obviously, that isn't a choice many of us would make, but it's what he decided his soul wanted after years and years of toil and stress.  He was peaceful.  He was happy.  He was free.

 Never would I advocate anyone make that choice.  However, to each his/her own.  That's not necessarily my path to peace and happiness, but I'll admit it did sound awfully appealing the way he described it.  It's not the whole homeless aspect that moved me, mind you.  It was the sense of peace and freedom he had achieved.  That took tremendous courage for him to make that decision.

 So, after much consideration, I think I could use a re-evaluation of my life.  Where it's going, what I want/need, etc.  I'm inspired.  Funny thing, inspiration.  It leads us to fantastically amazing conclusions and, if we so allow, wondrous free adventures and peace. 

                                  -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane #3: Ode to a Hole

I'm safe now
Safe and sound
Away from the world
My hole in the ground
I see only me
And light invades not
And here I will stay
Whether cold or hot
I'm safe now
Many moons under my belt
My hole in the ground
My tornado shelt…er

 

                                  -Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane #2: A Life to Save

The simplicity of it all is staggering.  To simply end your life, or to save it.  I have that power, you know.  But, what a weighty decision!  I can hardly breathe from the magnitude of it all.  Oh, I've watched you.  Back and forth, from here to there, all the while knowing my patience was growing thin, so very thin.  Your comings and goings have been so sinister of late.  It's a dare!  That's what it is!  You're daring me to do what you think I don't have the fortitude or will to do!  How dare you dare me!  Have I not given you a place of solitude?  Have I not, willingly or otherwise, provided abundant sustenance?  I remember a time when I regarded you as a guest.  Then, simply a presence.  This slowly evolved into nuisance, then unwelcome trespasser, and now I simply cannot stand the sight of you!  Yes, I must do it.  I do tremble.  It's unnatural, having you here, really.  Perhaps I could engage someone else to carry out the deed, but that would only prolong my misery and thus delay my reacquisition of the freedom I feel you've taken from me.  But even now, as I look at you, this sadness!  I've made up my mind that I must snuff the spark of your life or toil in agony until one of us eventually succumbs to illness or time.  The decision is made.  Oh, this knot in my stomach.  I could just faint!  I've got you in a corner and it's now or…never.  But…I would miss your company.  Not often, just every once in a while.  Just at those times when the presence of another brings just the slightest comfort and relief.  And sometimes, just sometimes, that makes all the difference in the world.  Oh, me.  My heart does not allow me to take a life.  I must rescind.  I release you from this corner, I beg your forgiveness for even the mere contemplation of killing you.  I see now that I may not value my life above yours.  Let us be free in this place together, old friend.  Soon again shall I see you, and more welcoming then, for certain.  Flee, little cockroach.  Flee.

 

-Silas McBane

The Shadowed Thoughts of Silas McBane #1: Take It All Off

That's right, take it off.  Take it all off.  The clothes, the shoes, the hairdo, the makeup, the jewelry, the scowl, and every single thing you think gives you your identity.  Get rid of it.  Why, you ask?  Because we have to from time to time.  Because you and I get so attached to our outward identity that we become separated from the things that really make us who we are.  Please understand, I'm not talking down to anyone, here.  I do it, too.  I seldom leave the house without looking the way I want people to see me.  And for the record, I don't feel like there's anything really wrong with that.  However, we get in that pattern and observe that routine and the subsequent mentality for too long sometimes and it cripples our self-perception.  I have been told before that the outward is a reflection of the inward.  I used to agree with that, but I don't anymore.  I am pierced.  I am very tattooed.  I have been unfairly judged and criticized for these things.  But that's the natural byproduct of choosing to look and express myself in such ways.  So, as a result of my appearance, I have to try just that much harder to rally against the general perception of people that look like I do, and prove to people that I have a soul, a heart, and am capable of doing tremendous good.  Kinda the whole "random acts of kindness" thing, you dig?  The decision I made a long time ago was to occasionally take time away from my "image" and just be me without it.  It's very healthy and keeps me balanced and centered, and it ultimately keeps me free from the grip of narcissism and ego.  Don't we all want to change the perception of the gothic community?  I know I do.  It starts with me being me.  It starts with you being you.

 

-Silas McBane

Did the recent push from DGM help DirectTV axe their "Undesirable (Goth)" ad campaign?

While no apologies have been officially made by DirecTV, after DGM's recent encouragement to Goths to complain to DirecTV about their recent ad campaign which depicts Goths as "undesirable" delinquents, the ads seem to have vanished from the cable and broadcast channels. In their place are much more humorous spots that do not attempt to denigrate a culture!

Hopefully the responses from Goths around the country and the world to DirecTV's PR department will continue to encourage DirecTV and others who might want to berate Goths to refrain!

With that said, let us remember that, fair or not, the way we look is something that often confuses people in the outside culture. By choosing to show people how caring and intelligent we are through positive actions, we help stop stereotypes from being accepted and believed! This will only help us and assure us of having sympathetic allies in the future!

Are new airline policies targeted at Goths?

On a recent trip to Detroit, editor Pasclato got elected for a patdown, despite his minimal piercings and a pre-removed belt. The reason? Possession of liquid on his person. What liquid? Perspiration.

Yes, that's right, perspiration!

Apparently, the sensors of the newly updated liquid detection scan system (which already reminds many of us uncomfortably of the dystopian future presented in "Total Recall") are set so sensitively to any form of liquid that a southern heat wave is leading to nearly all dark clothed passengers receiving patdowns!

The message is clear. If you want to fly and you want to wear black, you better get yourself delivered to the airport in a refrigerated container truck! (And, of course, much like a weight watchers meeting, make sure you empty your bladder before you get in line, because who knows how deep they're looking for liquids!)

Thoughts on DirecTV's attacks on "Undesirable" Gothic people?

If you haven't been under a rock of late, then you've probably come across DirecTV's blatant attack ads that seem pretty targeted at Goths.  Labeling a young man who has all the accoutrements of many in our community as an "undesirable" is pretty appalling, but more so is the fact that we in the Gothic community are so splintered that the ad hasn't been pulled.  We're a safe target because, unlike most minorities, we won't protest en masse. 

Try to imagine DirecTV replaced the Goth with a black man, labeling him as "undesirable"?  The NAACP would proclaim DirecTV were racist Neo-Nazis and the public outcry would reach a fever pitch.  Likewise if it had been a lesbian, the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force would have had someone's nether regions in a sling over the slight.

So, what do you think about it?  Let's talk about it here and be open and honest!  If it offends you, then bombard DirecTV's facebook and YouTube and Twitter pages and let them know about it. 

Deep Thoughts: Natalie Free: Re-Caption Challenge!

Deep thoughts...

Got a better Caption?  Add it in the comments and we'll swap the best one in!

Johnny Cash: Modern Goth??

Man in Black.  (Image via Wikipedia)

After our earlier post on Johnny Cash & Hurt, we felt that it was interesting to post a bit more information.  The following information on his dress code might entitle Johnny Cash to be considered the first of the "modern" goths, not just because of the black, but because of why he wore it:

By the early 1970s, he had crystallized his public image as "The Man in Black". He regularly performed dressed all in black, wearing a long black knee-length coat. This outfit stood in contrast to the costumes worn by most of the major country acts in his day: rhinestone suit and cowboy boots. In 1971, Cash wrote the song "Man in Black", to help explain his dress code: "We're doing mighty fine I do suppose / In our streak of lightning cars and fancy clothes / But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back / Up front there ought to be a man in black."

He wore black on behalf of the poor and hungry, on behalf of "the prisoner who has long paid for his crime",[68] and on behalf of those who have been betrayed by age or drugs.[68] "And," Cash added, "with the Vietnam War as painful in my mind as it was in most other Americans', I wore it 'in mournin' for the lives that could have been.' ... Apart from the Vietnam War being over, I don't see much reason to change my position ... The old are still neglected, the poor are still poor, the young are still dying before their time, and we're not making many moves to make things right. There's still plenty of darkness to carry off."[68]  (Originated from Wikipedia)

Fire: Natalie Free: Re-Caption Challenge!

Fire & Ice...

Got a better Caption?  Add it in the comments and we'll swap the best one in!

Hurt - A Gothic anthem?

 Written by GottVykyng "GothViking" Pasclato
DGM Editor-in-Chief

Trent Reznor wrote "Hurt" in the '90's.  While it was truthful when it came from his lips, it would wait for another to become transcendent. 
(Image via Wikipedia)

If there's an anthem for DarkestGoth Magazine, the song "Hurt" would have to be it.  Written in the '90's by Trent Reznor for his band, Nine Inch Nails, the song deals with the pain of addiction, most often associated with heroine addiction.  While it had power coming from someone in their late '20's-early '30's, it wouldn't truly come to fruition as a song until it had been re-recorded by someone much older.

It wasn't that the song wasn't ready or correct in its original release, but, it wasn't able to ferment until it had some age on it.  And like the winemaking process, it was largely transformed when it was recorded by Johnny Cash just a year before he died. However, had it stopped there, it might've remained a hidden gem--like really amazing brandy that's delivered in out of the way speakeasy joints in moonshine jars. When music video director, Mark Romanek, heard the song, however, he made it his mission to get the contract and shoot it with the elderly Cash at his home.  At the same time, a flood had badly damaged the official Johnny Cash museum in Tenessee, so Romanek had thought to just put images of the damaged museum alongside the footage from Cash' home.  However, they were granted access to Cash' archives of films and, even though Romanek didn't think they needed any of the footage, they decided to just put in one clip and see if it worked.  The results gave them both chills, as the justaposition of an old Cash at the end of his life with the young hellraiser he had been shined a light on the human condition in a way that nothing else could.  They quickly pieced in many more visual parts of his life and the final video is arguably the most incredibly poignant music video we at DGM have ever seen.

While Cash manages to make you realize that the "Hurt" spoken of in the song is about any form of addictive coping mechanisms that hurt us and our family, we as Goths often understand what it is to see the world as painful.  As we see the disconnect between truth and the way much of the external society leads their lives.  For us, sometimes our addictions are about wanting to deaden the hyper-awareness of the pain in the world.  For this reason, it's got to be one that we will always consider an amazing Gothic anthem!

If you've never seen this amazing video, check it out.  Because the lyrics are so awesome, they're included beneath the player.

"Hurt" Lyrics
(as performed by Johnny Cash;
Original Lyrics by Trent Reznor)

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Tunnel: Natalie Free: Re-Caption Challenge!

The light at the end of the tunnel.

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Death: Natalie Free: Re-Caption Challenge!

Death becomes her.

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Girl to do: Natalie Free: Re-Caption Challenge!

What's a girl to do?

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Rose Colored: Natalie Free: Re-Caption Challenge!

Rose colored glasses are for the unimaginative.

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Rapier Wit: Natalie Free: Recaption Challenge!

Rapier wit isn't a figure of speech with me.

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